Sometimes my children play a game where they repeat the same word over and over again unti we all think it sounds really strange. Say ‘box’, or ‘unusual’ too many times and both sound and look wierd. Wierd is also a wierd word.

When I was putting make up on the other day it suddenly seemed strange to be painting my face. I think it was because I was watching a home decorating programme at the time. Suddenly it seemed very odd to have to colour my face in every day.

Ironing my clothes this morning, I found myself straightening my hair half an hour later, and realised that despite the wording, I had also ironed my hair (or straightened my clothes.)

We wash cars, floors and selves, put oil in cars, add omega 3 or olive oil to our diets. We cut our hair and file our nails, cut our grass and trim hedges.

We repot plants and move to larger homes.

Plants, animals and humans all guzzle water.

We all know all these things but it seems wierd when you really think of all the parallels there are between humans/animals and plants and the process of life.

What is it about them? They make huge profits and still take every opportunity to fleece us.

The latest is that they have been watching peoples movements online to test a new marketing tool that will tailor advertising to the browser. Unfortunately they decided not to have the courtesy to ask or inform the public first, insisting the findings were anonymous. They insist they obtained legal advice and have not broken the law. That point is debatable but they have broken trust and breached the confidentiality and privacy of their customers. All this for profit?

They also insist on a minimum payment of 40p in a call box, and don’t give change, so if you haven’t any less than a pound in an emergency, they keep it all.

Oh how I love books but they are taking over the house. They are in every room, the hallway and even the bathroom

Whenever we go out we vow not to buy more but somebody always gets another and we are drawn, as if by magnetic force, to old bookshops and book stalls at boot fairs or school fetes.

I’ve tried pruning, and encouraging the children to do likewise and once in a while we throw out…about three.

What’s the answer? A book about how to manage your books maybe?

Schools used to have four days off leading up to Good Friday, then the Easter Bank Holiday weekend followed by the Tuesday to Friday afterwards.

Now the children have Good Friday and Easter Monday off and return to school, only to have a fortnights holiday a fortnight later.

This means that they get two days extra holiday – great for them and their teachers but not so great for those of us who have to worry about childcare.

It means that schools have to field some of the Easter expectation excitement and the chocolate hyperactivity as they return after Easter Monday.

But the Easter holidays had activities and days out built around the Easter treat theme.   Now Easter will be over and done with and children will then have two weeks off to fill with no particular holiday aim or purpose and in weather that isn’t that great.

It could work out, or it could be an absolute pain.  I’ll keep you posted.

I have just received a catalogue through the post which has been published in hardback. It looked wierd, until I realised I have on my bookshelves another hardback catalogue. It’s obviously not a new idea. The current one full of glossy squeaky pages and bright colours is poles apart from this one which I found at a boot fair a few years ago.

I have a tendency to worry which,worries me, especially as Chloe has inherited the same tendency and worries about everything.

She does her homework and worries about marks she may get or getting it in on time. If we go shopping she worries beforehand the we might not find anything that suits her. When we’ve found the perfect garment she worries that her friends may not like it or that I might shrink it in the wash. Meanwhile I also worry that I might shrink it or accidentally dye it in the wash.

I worry that she is a worrier and there is nothing I can do to help her. She worries that she worries me and tries not to worry, or at least to tell me about it.

The extra worry in having someone you love worrying is exhausting!

Offer a prize if your children can go a week without asking you to buy them something.

Pretend that the stress of shopping makes you deaf.

Agree that they can only ask for the same thing three times. If they ask a fourth it means you will never ever get it for them. This has the effect of making sure each time is a really good, reasoned argument for the item in question and not just a whine.

Pester them back! ‘Oh pleeeeease pleeeeeeease buy me some chocolate with your pocket money! ‘

Start singing loudly or dancing every time they ask for something in public, the embarrassment shuts them up immediately.

Start a sticker chart and add one every time they pester you. Every time they reach five, they have to pay a penalty, for instance losing pocket money or doing chores.

If they are over 9 run away from them, down the supermarket aisles. When they find you again explain that this is what will happen every time they ask for something.

Have a pester list. Every time they want something they write it down on the list. Provided they have not whinged and whined for it (in which case it gets removed) the list is used by family and friends to choose Christmas and birthday presents.

We all know that producers employ psychologists who know exactly which buttons to press to ensure children pester their parents for the toy, trainers, cereal or food product that they want.

McDonalds have honed child manipulation to perfection by the use of their Ronald McDonald clown character and their happy meals. How they can get away with the title ‘happy meal’ without being sued for misrepresentation, when regular happy meals would lead to anything but, is beyond most of us.

It’s up to mums and dads not to give in ,.say the ‘experts’ who are obviously not parents themselves.

Pestering is big business in the world of children and the best know that they can get what they need to trump whatever their friends have got.

Mums and/or dads can either give in, or be the ‘meanest, nastiest, most selfish uncaring parent in the world.’ It takes a strong parent not to try to prove that they aren’t.

Stand next to them in public.

Drop them off near enough to school so they can be seen getting out of your uncool car.

Phone them when they are with their mates.

Pick them up from parties, youth clubs or sports activities.

Call them love, darling, baby or your pet family name for them.

Show affection to your partner while they are around.

Ask them for a hug.

Give them a hug.

Tell them to kiss their grandmother.

Borrow their clothes.

Remind them to do their homework in front of their friends.

Return from an evening out in your best gear and make up, while their friends are round.

Answer the phone to their mates.

Cry.

Ask them about boyfriends or girlfriends.

Suggest appropriate face creams that dry out the skin.

Talk about the subject of sex, sexual activity and protection.

Dance at family parties.

Leave something red or blue in a whites wash.

Attend school open evenings where every teenager present keeps their head down as they are all squirming with embarrassment at having to (a) stand by their parents, (b)arrive with their parents, (c)show they are related to said parents and (d) give parents a glimpse of the school alter ego that their teacher knows.

I can understand that schools need to teach this, but self conscious children are unlikely to ask questions unless it is of the showing off and getting the class to giggle variety, and can come away with some confused ideas.

When I was told about the birds and the bees at school I completely missed the point and came away with the idea that as boys called girls birds, we should call them bees.

‘Use a condom, it will protect you’ got mixed up in Timmy’s head with Harry Potter type films so he was amazed in sex education lessons to learn what a condom was really for. ‘I thought it was a magic shield or something,’ he said. Still, before the lesson, a girl at his school thought ‘wear a condom’ meant women wore them on their boobs.

Listening to Timmy and his friends giggling about it later, it was apparent that the lesson had not completely sunk in.

‘So if you touch your willy to a girl’s you-know-what and shoot the seed at it, why do you need a condom when you can just not shoot her till you both want a baby?’

‘In case they accidentally touch, like in swimming pool or when they are sleeping in bed and their pyjamas accidentally slip down, stupid! ‘

A good case for sex education but we can’t be certain what image a child will come away with !